JOKE of the DAY

A woman in her fifties is at home, unclothed, happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks:

"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says,

"I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year-old."

The husband replies:

"What did he say about your 55-year old ass?"

"Your name never came up," she replied

GENIE IN THE BOTTLE

TWO GUYS ARE IN A LOCKER ROOM WHEN ONE GUY NOTICED THE OTHER GUY HAS A CORK IN HIS BUTT..HE SAYS, "HOW DID U GET THAT CORK STUCK IN YOUR BUTT"? THE OTHER GUY SAYS "I WAS WALKING ALONG THE BEACH & I TRIPPED OVER A LAMP. THERE WAS A PUFF OF SMOKE & THEN A RED MAN IN A TURBAN CAME OOZING OUT. HE SAID, I TONTO, INDIAN GENIE, I GRANT-UM ONE WISH..AND I SAID, "NO SHIT"!!